Ju was physically abused as
a child. She lived with a mother who was diagnosed with post depression and a
father who was a wife abuser.
Her parent divorced and left six of them with her mother. She left
school at 15 and went to work waiting tables to help her mother feed them all.
At 18 she met and fell in love and was married soon after. Then
she found out that her husband drank too much, slept around with other women, a
wife abuser and took drugs. She was divorced at age 20 with two children. Her
husband took their son away and handed him to his friend. He was sent to jail for
an offence with the law.
Her husband's friend did not want to hand the boy over to her and
demanded money in exchange. The child had scars on his chest due to burnt from
cigarette butts. That was what he got for crying out for food.
She finally managed to get her son back. She left her children in
her mother's care while she left to find a job.
At 28 she had an accident. Her dress caught fire and she suffered
2nd degree burns.
With that her self-esteem and self-confidence went down the pit.
She was depressed. She attempted suicides several times and was given
psychiatric treatments.
After a major surgery and lots of counseling and support from
relatives and friends, she started her life all over again even with one partly
deformed hand and fingers.
Her anxiety was all the time still present. It was tougher to find
a job. She felt like a disabled person.
The one thing that kept her going in spite of her misfortune was
her will to be able to feed herself and sent money for her children. She did
not want to ask for financial support.
At 38 she was diagnosed with cancer of the cervix. That was a big
blow to her. She went through another depression episode.
"Why me?" was the question she repeatedly asked. Of
course when she asked that question, she got all the wrong answers. She felt more
depressed. She blamed her father, her mother and everyone for what brought her
sufferings. Worst, she blamed herself.
She agreed to go for the treatments, chemotherapy and cesium,
because she did not want to go through the pains.
This was when she took the time to look within her. She thought
that she might not live long enough so she decided to reconnect with her
children. It was not easy especially with her son who had gone through his own
childhood trauma.
She turned to her family for moral support and she turned to God.
Now eight years later, she is still alive. Waking up and able to
breathe for another day is a gift for her.
She has two grandchildren whom she adores and that give her much
joy. She takes some jobs every now and then when her health permits and rests
when she needs it.
Her question has changed. She now asks what is it she could do to
get more out of what is left?
Things happen and happen to us all. Life does not play favorites.
Everyone has a story to tell.
It is how we handle it that matters. We do not have to wait until
a major catastrophe interrupts us to think of what we should do with our lives.
It is up to us to make or break us. No one can tell our brain and
mind what to do. No one can tell us what to think of and what to put inside our
head.
We have the power to think what we want to think. To forget past
hurts or to linger with them.
We can decide, plan and take action on what we want to have, do or
be. At least when the universe intervenes, we know that we have done our best.
