Once upon a time there
was a little boy who was talented, creative, handsome, and extremely bright. A
natural leader. The kind of person everyone would normally have wanted on their
team or project. But he was also self-centered and had a very bad temper. When
he got angry, he usually said, and often did, some very hurtful things. In
fact, he seemed to have little regard for those around him. Even friends. So,
naturally, he had few. “But,” he told himself, “that just shows how stupid most
people are!”
As he grew, his parents became concerned about this personality
flaw, and pondered long and hard about what they should do. Finally, the father
had an idea. And he struck a bargain with his son. He gave him a bag of nails,
and a BIG hammer. “Whenever you lose your temper,” he told the boy, “I want you
to really let it out. Just take a nail and drive it into the oak boards of that
old fence out back. Hit that nail as hard as you can!”
Of course, those weathered oak boards in that old fence were
almost as tough as iron, and the hammer was mighty heavy, so it wasn’t nearly
as easy as it first sounded.
Nevertheless, by the end of the first day, the boy had driven 37
nails into the fence (That was one angry young man!). Gradually, over a period
of weeks, the number dwindled down. Holding his temper proved to be easier than
driving nails into the fence! Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his
temper at
all. He felt mighty proud as he told his parents about that
accomplishment.
“As a sign of your success,” his father responded, “you get to
PULL OUT one nail. In fact, you can do that each day that you don’t lose your
temper even once.”
Well, many weeks passed. Finally one day the young boy was able
to report proudly that all the nails were gone.
At that point, the father asked his son to walk out back with
him and take one more good look at the fence. “You have done well, my son,” he
said. “But I want you to notice the holes that are left. No matter what happens
from now on, this fence will never be the same. Saying or doing hurtful things
in anger produces the same kind of result. There will always be a scar. It
won’t matter how many times you say you’re sorry, or how many years pass, the
scar will still be there. And a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
People are much more valuable than an old fence. They make us smile. They help
us succeed. Some will even become friends who share our joys, and support us
through bad times. And, if they trust us, they will also open their hearts to
us.
That means we need to treat everyone with love and respect. We
need to prevent as many of those scars as we can.”